The other night I was in the kitchen with my husband. I was drying a piece of Pyrex, and he was putting away some Tupperware and whatever other dishes we had just washed. We were talking about rent and money and anything else that was on our minds, when the whole context of the situation hit me. I have a husband. And we have real dishes and rent and other bills and even some Pyrex that we make dinners (and brownies) in. And all of a sudden it seemed like I was an adult, and I quite wasn't sure how I got there. Like all of a sudden five years went by and instead of thinking about whether I should do homework or go to the gym or just watch Oprah with my roommates, I was thinking about money and responsibilities and where on earth we got all that Tupperware. And while I wouldn't trade one itty bitty little ounce of what my life is right now for time in the past, or for anything else for that matter, I just could not get over the fact that maybe I was growing up a little. Like life had been put on fast forward and in 10 minutes I went from running around God's country (Bloomington, Indiana) to being an adult with real-people chores and work and activities. And the thought that ran through my head was, "When did this happen?"
And as I'm thinking about this, I'm realizing it wasn't just a few life-changing events that brought me to dish washing in the kitchen with my crazy-sweet husband. Sure, moving across the country brings some life experiences, as does getting married and having a job. I didn't really go from a college Caitlin to a semi-adult Caitlin in the blink of an eye, although sometimes it feels that way. I am this Caitlin, who does what she does and thinks what she thinks, because of a million little happenings that accumulated and brought me to this very moment in time. Seconds and minutes spent with different people in situations God wanted me to experience so I could become the person He wanted me to be.
I'm not sure if anyone else has these moments of "Oh my gosh, I think I might be an adult," but in case there's anyone else out there who maybe has these thoughts, I just wanted to say hi and don't worry, I do too....let's hang out. And I think we might be ok, because maybe that's how life is supposed to happen. We get a little older and hopefully gain a little more insight with the days that pass. We live a life that's full to the brim with more life, and it's hard to realize just how unique and amazing the moments are, until we take a step back and reflect, which we should do often so we're not caught off-guard in our kitchens on a random Friday evening.
So at 25, I'm taking a step back to say two things to both you and to God, who I know is reading this (Hiya!). The first is, "This adult thing is so good," because I stand in awe of the life that's been given to me and the God/people who have brought me here, amidst the Pyrex and the craziness. The second is, "I'm so thankful," because there's no other way to to express that gratitude I have for being 25. Married, growing, creating, laughing. With a giant loving family and friends who are pure treasure. Memories behind and adventures ahead. 25 is great, no wait, it's the best and I'm so happy to be it right this very moment.
Peace and love,